Here in My Mold 04/15/2012
Posted by Matt in Other.Tags: encouragement, friends, friendship, Jeremy, positive, SamIAm, support, The Verve
2 comments
3 entries in one day? Don’t worry, this one will be even shorter than my last post. All readers, please follow the above link to my friend Sam’s (of SamIAm) latest post. It concerns one of our fellow gay teen bloggers, and a friend of mine, Jeremy of StandingUpSpeakingNow. He has recently face some difficulties in his life concerning his sexuality, and has locked down his blog for the time being. Please, leave comments showing your support for Jeremy. As strong as he is, seeing words of encouragement would be a positive thing for him to see right now. So please follow the link at the top of this post, and Stand Up and Speak Now on Jeremy’s behalf, showing that you are there for him. (All credit for the post goes to Sam of SamIAm)
This post’s highlighted song is one about being yourself, no matter what society or the rest of the world may think. I give you The Verve with “Bittersweet Symphony.”
Life Couldn’t Get Better 04/15/2012
Posted by Matt in Life, Other.Tags: 18, adulthood, alive, bday, birthday, college, future, life, Mac Miller, maturity, old, presents, UMass Amherst, weekend, years
4 comments
As promised, this is my second post of the day, although this one will be considerably shorter than the other one (like a paragraph or two long). As I said, this has been a huge weekend for me. Not only have I decided on the college that I’ll be attending this fall, it’s also my birthday today, April 15th. Today, I am 18 years old.
It’s actually difficult for me to fathom that – I’ve been alive for 18 years now. Where has all the time gone? Looking back on all that I’ve done in my life, I’d say that I’ve turned out as an all-around great guy (hoping that doesn’t sound conceited in any way). Now, I’m looking towards to the future, and the things I will be doing soon. Graduating from high school. Attending college at UMass Amherst (see previous post). Living independently. Getting a job. Coming out as gay to family and friends. Finding love. Getting married. Raising a family…. But for now, let’s just take it all one step at a time.
The second song for tonight is by an up-and-coming rapper out of Pittsburgh that I enjoy listening to, mostly for his laidback style and flow. Up next is Mac Miller with the titular song from his mixtape “Best Day Ever.”
We Dream So Long 04/15/2012
Posted by Matt in School.Tags: 2016, Amherst, class of 2016, college, engineering, future, independence, life, Lupe Fiasco, major, maturity, school, semester, UMass, UMass Amherst, university
1 comment so far
Wow. A whole month since my last post…. sometimes I forget I even have a blog. I have two posts lined up for today though, so I guess that might make up for my long absence. Right? Well, this was a big weekend for me, which is great considering my spring break this week was pretty “meh.” (Unfortunately it didn’t involve me coming out to anyone. Sorry if you were expecting that.)
In my last post, I mentioned that I was still waiting to hear the decisions from 3 colleges – Manhattan College, U of Maryland, and Binghamton U. Over the past month, I did hear back from all of them. I got accepted to Manhattan College, while Maryland accepted me for the Spring 2013 semester. Binghamton put me on the wait-list though. Oh well, I was 10 for 11 for the schools I applied to. I can definitely live with a 91% success rate.
Yesterday, I went to revisit UMass Amherst for the College of Engineering Open House, which was basically an accepted students day strictly for future engineering students like myself. UMass has been my top choice since I visited last August, and has held that spot ever since. From the first time I went there, I could really see myself as a student on campus there better than any other college I had visited before or after. And after re-touring the campus and learning more about the engineering program there, I made my final decision – I will be attending UMass Amherst this fall, majoring in civil engineering as a member of the Class of 2016. Now you may be wondering what factors I considered in this decision. Well lucky for you, that’s the main point of my post. Since I seem to have an affinity for making lists on this blog, another one couldn’t hurt.
- Location/Size/Campus - The university is quite large, but not as big as Maryland or Penn State. The campus itself is large, but the buildings are close enough together to make the actual size deceiving. In terms of the number of students, there are approximately 28,000 students (both undergraduate and graduate). I have no issue with that number, even if it’s quite high. The campus looks great, with a more modern setup and the buildings arranged in “rings” of sorts. The town of Amherst is consistently named one of the best college towns in North America, and I have to say it certainly seems like it has earned that title. It’s a beautiful town, with tons of shops and restaurants. Since UMass is part of the Five Colleges consortium, you can also take classes at any of the 4 nearby colleges (Amherst, Hampshire, Mount Holyoke, and Smith Colleges).
- Engineering Program - The open house yesterday was extremely informative about how the engineering program works at the college. I’ll spare you all the boring details about it, but I have to say that I really like the path they set up for engineering students. Basically you start in general education/engineering classes, and each year you move into classes more specific to your own major. Not only that, the engineering department has its own dedicated career center, with its own career fairs twice a year. This sounds like it will make finding a job that much easier when I graduate. I could also spend another year or so there and get my master’s degree, as opposed to just a bachelor’s degree. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
- Room/Board - On the campus tour, I got a chance to both see the dorm rooms for freshmen and sample some of the food at the dining hall. The dorm room I saw was just a model room. Pretty small, but the tour guide (claimed) that the actual doubles are twice the size of the model. They come with the usual bed, desk and chair, bookcase, and closet. Nothing special, but they seemed above average. The food in the dining hall was great, I tried a little of everything and most of it was delicious – way better than I was expecting.
- Clubs/Organizations/Sports - UMass has a large selection of clubs and student organizations to choose from. I’m not gonna bother going through them, as I fail to see the point. On the athletic side of things, the school colors are maroon and white, and the mascot is the Minutemen/Minutewomen. They offer 21 varsity sports and 12 club sports, so I can watch the varsity football, hockey, and baseball games, while I find a club sport team to join.
Today’s song is one of my top 5 favorite songs from last year, one from an artist that I truly love listening to (it also gets points for sampling an awesome song from a completely different artist I like). Take it away Lupe, with “The Show Goes On.”
You Can Go Your Own Way 03/15/2012
Posted by Matt in Life, Other, School.Tags: acceptance, classic, delaware, Fleetwood Mac, high school, life, prom, senioritis, university, update, workout
1 comment so far
New Rule (for myself): No more giving time frames for new/upcoming posts, since I never follow them anyway. Now that that’s out of the way…
Part 2 of my post about football, and how I believe my sexuality would/wouldn’t have impacted my team, will come within the next few days. I want that particular entry to be insightful and well-written, so I’m gonna take some extra time on it. In the meantime, I think a quick update on my life will be a good placeholder.
Let’s see now…
- Well today I got my acceptance letter from the University of Delaware! That just leaves me waiting on the decisions from Binghamton University, Manhattan College, and University of Maryland. UMass Amherst is still my first choice school.
- Senioritis has REALLY started to take its toll on my schoolwork (the beautiful weather lately has only worsened my condition). Like last week, when I had to make up 10 homeworks for my economics class, in order to keep myself from failing for the 3rd quarter. #senior12prblms (the new favorite Twitter hashtag of every senior I know, including myself).
- Plans for our senior prom are coming together, and I personally cannot wait for it – the talk of our prom house and the event itself are so exciting! Unfortunately, I won’t be taking a guy to the event (as of right now, but who knows what can happen in 3 months?), but I won’t let that get me down. Someone remind me to ask my friend Jenna to it in the next few weeks…
- I’m working on building myself a new workout routine – one that I can stick to, and not abandon after just a few weeks. I’ll start off getting back into shape with mostly cardio for about a week or two, and then I’ll begin lifting weights again. Time to break out the protein shakes and the workout playlist.
Tonight’s song is a classic rock song! FINALLY! Almost every single song I’ve used so far (except for “Call Me”) has been from the 2000′s and onward, and I’ve been neglecting the classics like the Beatles (expect them in the near future) and AC/DC. Here’s Fleetwood Mac with their famous hit, “Go Your Own Way.”
All the Memories (Pt. 1) 03/04/2012
Posted by Matt in Interests, School, Sports.Tags: football, friends, game, high school, memories, part 1, sport, team, teammates, varsity, Weezer
1 comment so far
I apologize for the long gap between this and my last post. A combination of writer’s block and a ton of schoolwork kept me from posting new entries on here. But I’m back now, and I’ll be returning to my schedule of posting something every 2-3 days. Before I start, I’d like to give a shout out to Andrew of “The Transpiration of Andrew” for posting about my blog! Just like when Sam did a few weeks back, the number of views spiked (hopefully I can bring the number of views per hour back up to what it was before).
Tonight’s post is one I’ve been meaning to write since my first entry on this blog. It’s centered on what I consider the greatest times in my life; our high school football team. I’ve been on our school’s football team since middle school, and I’ve played every single year since then. I love the sport and everything about it: watching it, following it, playing it, discussing it. So of course I signed up the very first day I could in middle school, along with all of my friends. Once the season began, I was given the positions that I would be playing throughout my entire football career, Wide Receiver and Defensive Back. Now I should mention that I was definitely never the star player on the team, I was always second-string. But I never let that get to me, and I still gave my all in practices and games. Even when it got to the point of feeling like I would collapse from exhaustion, I tried my best to keep going; the pain I felt afterwards was always a good one, since I knew it was a result of hard work and perseverance. And if there’s one thing that being on the team (or two really) that being a part of the team instilled in me, it was perseverance and resilience. Our final record was 4-4. A decent record I’d say, even though we just barely missed making the playoffs.
What was even more important to me than the sport itself, though, was my team. I will always look back on the time we spent together as my best memories from high school. Everyone was cool with each other, teasing each other when someone messed up, and giving them props when they did something great. From our trips to Chili’s the night before each game, to the parties we’d go to after the game whether we won or lost… from driving in each other’s cars to games, to blasting music in the locker room as we mentally prepared suited up… from the pregame stretches and warm-ups, to the coaches’ speeches and team breakdowns at the end… from watching the film of the previous game, to correcting the mistakes we made in practice… we were teammates through and through. Being on the team only strengthened all of our friendships, and I’ll never forget any of them.
My next post will be Part 2. I will be discussing how I believe an openly gay player would have been treated on our team, so keep an eye out for that faithful readers!
The featured song of this post is by a band I’ve neglected lately, but started listening to them again in the past week or so. It’s a song about wanting to return to the best times of your life, and I thought it fit perfectly with my entry about the time I spent on my high school football team… and how I’d give anything for one more season with them. Here’s Weezer with their song, “Memories.”
(Btw, check the About Me page for a picture of myself I’ve posted!)
The Fire Alights 02/21/2012
Posted by Matt in Other, Sexuality.Tags: dear mom and dad, emotion, family, Jeremy, letter, parents, relationship, Sandweaver, tearjerker
1 comment so far
(Quick entry alert) One of my good friends Jeremy (the one who helped me start up my own blog), of “StandingUpSpeakingNow,” posted something incredible tonight; an emotionally charged letter to his parents concerning their relationship and his sexuality. Normally, I don’t advertise for others blogs beyond a casual reference or the Blogroll on the side of mine… but this one is too beautiful and heartfelt to ignore. Seriously, go read it (I actually teared up a bit reading it, no joke)…. Dear Mom and Dad
This entry’s featured song is from a Canadian band… that I’ve never heard of, and I’m sure you haven’t either. But anyway, I give you Sandweaver with “Mending.” (I wouldn’t recommend reading Jeremy’s letter while listening to the song, unless you REALLY want to learn the meaning of “tearjerker”).
Sometimes, I Get a Good Feeling 02/20/2012
Posted by Matt in Interests, Other.Tags: avicii, degrassi, interest, self confidence, skiing, snow, snowboarding, winter
1 comment so far
Sorry for the lack of posts the past few days. All weekend long I kept trying to write new entries, but writer’s block kept popping up and I couldn’t finish what I started. Then yesterday I went snowboarding with my dad and cousin, and thought I might as well talk about one of my favorite hobbies. I’ve been skiing/boarding for most of my life, and began when I was 7 years old. I started out on skis, and picked it up pretty quickly. After about 6 years of being on skis, I decided I wanted to try snowboarding (as a lifelong skier, my dad was a bit disappointed lol).
On my first day on a board, I took a private lesson in the beginner’s area. I fell… a lot. But I kept getting up and trying again, and eventually I learned all the basics, like toe and heel turns, stopping, and keeping balance. My instructor was pretty impressed, and we took the chairlift up to the larger beginner’s hill, which he claimed was pretty rare for someone’s first day. I was linking turns and avoiding hitting others. A good first day, I believe. On my next few outings, my uncle (who is on the ski patrol at Mountain Creek) had his boarder friend on the patrol give me pointers and help me improve my technique. According to him, I had picked snowboarding up faster than anyone he had ever seen (hope I don’t sound too overconfident). Every time I hit the slopes, I feel myself improving, even if it’s just a tiny bit.
When I’m out on the mountain, I feel like I can do anything. Gearing up, I’m preparing for an exciting day. Taking the chairlift up, I’m creating new challenges for myself. Carving through the powder, I’m blazing new trails. Getting air after going off a jump, I’m reaching new heights. Rolling over and getting up after falling, I’m demonstrating resilience. But most importantly, when I strap up and I’m looking downhill, I immediately gain something I usually lack, or just don’t show: self-confidence. If there was one area where I could really show somebody what I’m made of, snowboarding would be it. I become a whole new person the minute I set foot on the snow, as a result of my passion for the sport. I love the adrenaline rush I get from going top speed down a black diamond trail, from getting massive air and landing a jump, or from grinding a rail and ollie-ing off the end. Well I hope you liked getting to know me a bit better, and trust me, the posts will become more regular from here on out. Now to attend to the many comments I haven’t responded to yet…
Tonight’s song is one I only discovered a few weeks ago, and only because I found that it was the basis of Flo Rida’s song “Good Feeling”… not to mention that it’s from a genre that I’m a bit of a foreigner to. Enjoy Avicii’s worldwide hit, “Levels.”
(Oh, and Degrassi: New Beginnings premieres tonight! I’ve been watching the Now or Never marathon all day in anticipation. It’s a been a looooooong 5 months since Now or Never’s end, and I can’t wait for the new round of episodes!)
Deuces to the Classroom 02/16/2012
Posted by Matt in Other, School.Tags: calculus, classes, economics, engineering, english, physics, Sam Adams, school, teacher
2 comments
This is just another one of my off-topic mini-entries. In this post, I’ll be giving a quick rundown of my schedule for my second semester of senior year in high school (or, if I REALLY want to look cool, “senyah year”), and some thoughts on each class.
- AP Physics AB - I took Regents Physics last year, so for the most part, this class isn’t a problem most of the time. But then we started the Electricity & Magnetism unit…. and all logic and reason was thrown out the window. Any complaints I have about the class though are negated by the fact that my teacher is hysterical (and possibly gay, if rumors are to be believed).
- Physics Lab/Gym - On days where I have a lab, it usually just turns into a double period lecture. Which I dislike. Greatly. I love gym, on the other hand, since the teacher is so laidback and lets us do whatever we want.
- Ceramics - An elective I was forced to take by my guidance counselor. I thought I was going to hate it, but the teacher is one of my favorites in the school, and the projects we do are actually kind of fun.
- Lunch - (Insert joke here about lunch being my favorite class of the day, despite lunch not being a class.)
- Economics Honors - The teacher’s okay, a bit harsh when it comes to grades but she’s at least nice about it. The class though? Hint: don’t ever ask me for financial advice.
- AP Calculus AB - Sometimes I get what’s going on, and sometimes I don’t. My teacher is talented at finding ways to get us to understand even the most difficult concepts…. we’re all convinced she’s at least part robot.
- AP English Literature & Composition - The low point of my day. The teacher is awful: extremely opinionated, and no common sense. A winning combo. Not to mention that I don’t care about the class itself in the slightest. “Discuss how the author’s use of imagery illuminates the meaning of the work as a whole.” Yeah, I’d really rather not. In all seriousness though, this is a strong candidate for my least favorite class of all time – words aren’t enough to describe my disdain for it.
- Principles of Engineering 2 – A n enjoyable elective, and helpful since I plan to major in civil engineering. The teacher’s laidback and has a good sense of humor.
- Early Release - Getting to leave school almost an hour early everyday is awesome. That is all.
Tonight’s song is just a fun song by an artist I love, Sam Adams. He recently released a mixtape titled “Into the Wild,” and it’s unlike anything I’ve heard in awhile (seriously, go check it out). But here is with his latest single, “Blow Up.”
Does It Feel Like a Trial? 02/15/2012
Posted by Matt in School, Sexuality.Tags: acceptance, diversity, high school, lgbt students, peers, teachers, The National
4 comments
For a teenager struggling with his/her sexuality, high school can sometimes feel like a gauntlet. When they hear their friends and peers make gay jokes, and use words like “homo” or “fag,” it only makes those who are ashamed of their own sexuality desperate to hide it out of fear of being ostracized. “What if they find out I’m gay?” “Would my friends hate me if they knew?” “Why me, why am I the black sheep?” Every school is different though, in how LGBT students are treated by their peers, and the attitude towards homosexuality in general. So I figured that it might make sense for me to talk about my school, and the environment it has cultivated towards homosexuality. Before I go any further, I should point out at that at the time of writing, there are no LGBT students or teachers currently out at my school. One of the reasons I’m still in the closet is partly due to my fear of becoming the center of attention by being the only openly gay student. I’ve never liked being in the limelight for any reason, and if I were to come out tomorrow first period, everyone in the school would know by the time the dismissal bell rang (our high school is joined with the middle school, and there’s still only around 700 students or so). On that note, I think I should take a closer examination of my school and said environment; specifically, my peers, my teachers, and organizations at school.
The first, and most important, category I’ll talk about is my peers at school. I mentioned in a previous post that I truly believed most of my close friends, both guys and girls, would be accepting of my sexuality. Now, on a larger scale (say, the entire student body), I think the ratio of the number of people who would accept me, versus the number of people who wouldn’t, would be slightly lower. That’s not my point, though. What I’m trying to say is that I believe, for the most part, many of my peers would be fine with me openly expressing my homosexuality. Obviously not everyone would be fine with it, but I think they would be in the minority on this one.
Next, the faculty at my school. I said above that there are no openly LGBT faculty members. This is possibly part of the reason why there are no students out either, because they don’t have an adult role model that they can turn to with questions. In regards to teachers and their attitudes towards LGBT students… well that might be difficult to answer, since most won’t talk about these types of views with students. A few teachers I’ve known over the years have struck me as slightly homophobic/transphobic, but the ones I think are accepting towards LGBT people are likely in the majority.
The last aspect I’ll discuss are organizations at my school that are geared towards LGBT students. Out of all 3 categories in this entry, this is one that disappoints me most. There is no Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA), or any organization of that nature, at my high school. The closest thing we have is called Diversity Club. This is their mission statement: “We the students of _______ aim to raise the awareness of our community about the beauty of diversity in its many forms. We work to empower all of our members to know that they have something to contribute to our community through their voices and through service to others. We strive to be positive role models who appreciate and respect each other. We cherish and learn from the elderly, teach the younger and treat all equally. Through our workshops we realize that our differences will always circle us back to our most common bond – that of our humanity.” Now, I completely respect their message and goal, don’t get me wrong. But I feel that having something like GSA at our school would be much more beneficial for LGBT students. A place where these teens, and their straight allies, can focus on one singular goal; equality and acceptance of their sexuality. So while I think there should be an organization specifically for LGBT students, I think the Diversity Club is a good stepping stone.
Tonight’s song is by an indie rock band, and it was recorded specifically for one of my favorite games of 2011, Portal 2 (probably my 2nd or 3rd favorite of the year if you care to know). Here is The National with their single “Exile Vilify.”
Nothing’s Gonna Tear Us Apart 02/13/2012
Posted by Matt in Other.Tags: celebrate, Drake, equality, gay, lgbt, marriage, rights, same sex marriage, Washington
1 comment so far
This will just be a quick post, but it’s about something definitely worth celebrating. Let’s all give a hand to Gov. Christine Gregoire of the State of Washington, who today signed legislation to legalize same-sex marriage! If you haven’t been keeping count, Washington just became the 7th state to make same-sex marriage legal (joining Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, and my home state of New York). Not only that, this came right on the heels of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals declaring Proposition 8, the legislation that made same-sex marriage in California illegal, to be unconstitutional. I can only hope that this will lead to California becoming #8. I’m proud to be a witness to how far our country has come in regards to rights for LGBT persons, and granting them the equality we have long fought for. I hope the momentum continues, and even picks up from here! Again, congratulations to the same-sex couples in Washington who can now officially be recognized as a married couple.
Tonight’s song is all about finding that one person you truly want to be with, and fighting for their love. And since this post is marriage…. well I trust you can connect the dots. Take it away Drake…. “Find Your Love.”
